PCW- POLITICAL
CHAMPIONSHIP WRESTLING
WELCOME TO PCW. PCW combines political satire and
professional wrestling. Written in the
style of Paul Heyman and the old ECW (Extreme
Championship Wrestling), PCW is Political, Hardcore, Extreme, Wrestling or PHEW!- accurately describing the current state of American
politics.
Bubba Jackson and DeWayne Cantrell are the
co-owners of PCW. The outgoing CEO of
PCW is George W. His aide de camp is
Dick. The CEO-designate is Barack Obama. His aide de camp will be Joe Biden. Obama officially takes over January 20th, 2009.
PCW uses three different formats:
PCW HOUSE
SHOW or ROAD SHOW- listing of roughly 6 to 7 matches from a PCW road
show.
PCW
EXTREME POLITICAL TV- Hosted by the ‘voice of PCW’ Johnny Suave from Hack’s
Rusty Nail Saloon or the PCW Arena
PCW PAY
PER VIEW- Big ‘events’ held 3-4 times a year. Pay per views are hosted by Suave and his
co-host and constant companion- a life-size cardboard cut-out of either Shania
Twain………yeah, don’t ask. The biggest
event in PCW is the biannual ‘PCW Extreme Election Night’ that coincides with
the national mid-term and presidential elections.
PCW is set up similar to your
typical pro wrestling show except that instead of the good guys vs. bad guys
(or ‘face’ vs. ‘heels’) it’s the left vs. right. The Progressive Alliance are
the Democrats/Liberals. The American
Patriots are the Republicans/Conservatives.
And as always, there are the unaffiliated independents in the middle.
PCW WORLD CHAMPION: ‘The New Rookie Sensation’ O’Beck Bahama (Progressive
Alliance)
CONTENDERS:
#1- ‘The Original Rookie Sensation’ Starz N. Stripes (American Patriots)
#2- ‘The Angry Highway Warrior’
Quadruple R (Domination, Inc.)
PCW WOMEN’S CHAMPION: Kathryn Randall Collins (Domination, Inc.)
CONTENDERS:
#1- ‘Empress Queen of All Media’ Opal Winfree (Progressive Alliance)
#2- ‘PCW Extreme Pizza Delivery Girl’
Tessa Martin (Independent)
PCW TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS: Big Oil
and Kirk Walstreit (Domination, Inc.)
CONTENDERS:
#1- Schett
Brothers- Jack Schett and Bull Schett
(Progressive Alliance)
#2- A. Tom Bomb and Hy
Drogen Bomb (American Patriots)
PCW TELEVISION CHAMPION: ‘No Frills’
Chris Escondido (Progressive Alliance)
CONTENDERS:
#1- FUBAR (Independent)
#2- Halitosis (Independent)
ROSTER:
Progressive Alliance
Leader: ‘The American Screamer’ Howard Dean & Barack Obama
‘The New Rookie Sensation’ O’Beck Bahama
‘No Frills’ Chris Escondido
Jack Schett
Bull Schett
w/Horst Schett and Hans Gruber- the Extreme German
Schnauzer
‘Empress Queen of All Media’ Opal Winfree w/Opal’s Flock-New Age Sensitive Guy and Soccer Mom
Union Jac
DLC
The Dixie Chucks- Chuck-mily, Chuck-artie, Chuck-atalie
American Patriots
Leader: ‘Straight Shootin’ John McCain
‘The Original Rookie Sensation’ Starz N. Stripes
A. Tom Bomb
Hy Drogen Bomb
Newt Tron Bomb
Dawn McGill ‘The 6 Foot Tall Demolition
Machine in a Short Skirt’
Hallie Burton w/Neal Conn (making foreign policy as paramount
responsibility of government, seeing the need for the U.S. acting as the
world's sole superpower as indispensable to establishing and maintaining global
order)
‘Raving Rednecks’ Locke and Loade
Domination, Inc.
CEO: Mr. McMann
CFO: Gordon Guyko
Randy ‘Road Rage’ Richardson aka Quadruple R
Kathryn Randall Collins aka KRC
Daisy Cutter-Bomb
Bradley Scott Wilson Esq. – Corporate
Spokesperson
Richard Emerson Brantley III – Corporate
Secretary
Big Oil w/Texas Tex
Kirk Walstreit
Whiskey Tango Foxtrot – Corporate
Enforcer
Rough Justice: (2 former police
officers fired from their jobs because of their rough and often across the line
views about law enforcement)
D.B. Ruff – Corporate Security
Connor Justice – Corporate Security
Joe Six-Packs
American Trucker w/Tequila Sheila
Average Joe
Dave the Mechanic
‘PCW Extreme Pizza Delivery Girl’ Tessa
Martin
Green World Order
Leader: Darth (Ralph) Nader
‘Extreme Vegan’ Brock Cole Lee
PeaceNick
GreenPete
Treehugger Joe
Peta from PETA
Politically
Incorrect/Libertarian
Leader: Bob Barr
Nic Koteen
Al Cahall
NRA
Hunter the Hunter
Independents
Halitosis ‘The Insanely Foul Breath
Luchador’
And then, there are the Jobbers aka Talent Enhancement or more succinctly- cannon fodder
SNAFU
Jimmy from So Cal- Jim Rome clone wannabee
Snott Flemmstein
Michael Hunt and Richard Headd of ‘Guys With Unfortunate
First Names Given Their Surname’
Black Swamp Pirate